Wednesday, December 21, 2011

measuring UP

in college, one of my best friends would write lists during boring classes. she would later read them to us and soon we began to enjoy the art of list-making as well. I don't know why I thought of this today, but it popped into my head and I got the urge to make a list.

ours back in the day consisted of things such as..."things that make me smile" or "reasons I love spring" or "must-haves in our future hubbys" etc. etc.

so to preface the list below, I recently stumbled across a site all about problems tall girls have. I "mmm-hmmm-ed" and "amen-ed" every single problem listed and thought to myself "ahh people who understand me!"

and then I got to thinking and realized short people probably have a site like that, too. heck, even average-heighted people might. I'm pretty sure that no one is happy with their height. unless they are making millions of dollars by dunking basketballs because they are 7 feet tall. we'll call that the exception.

so in the spirit of christmas and being thankful and positive, here is a list of why being tall is capable of not-sucking. so without further ado...

10 reasons to love being tall: (in no particular order)

1. you can help people without having a special talent. yes, I can reach behind your desk and plug in that electronic device, not because I am talented, but because I have extremely long appendages I didn't have to work at obtaining.

2. other people can hide behind you when needed. this comes in handy more than you'd think.

3. you get told you could be a model by complete strangers. nevermind they say this to every female who crosses the 5'10 threshold, whether they look like kim kardashian or resemble a sheep dog. it's a confidence booster, nonetheless.

4. intimidation factor. normally I would argue against this, because I don't want to be intimidating. however, I DO want to be intimidating to creepers. I dare you, oh creepy mccreeperson, to nab me from a dark alley or parking lot. I weigh more than the average bear, so dragging me to your car might be more of an undertaking than you originally thought. plus, I'm fiesty. I think this comes with all tall people, right?

5. let's go with the obvious one right now: sports. while the usefulness of this pro faded after high school, it can still be fun in pick-up games of volleyball (note: I did not say basketball - apparently you need coordination for that sport). if I had a nickel for everytime someone asked me if I played basketball, I wouldn't have to be in the WNBA to be rich.

6. you have a distinguishing characteristic. in college I'm pretty sure everyone's parents knew me as "your tall friend, ashley".  thus, you are remembered without even opening your mouth.

7. need to change a light bulb? no ladder necessary, simply tip toes.

8. you hear some of the most interesting/entertaining pick-up lines ever. blue because no one at that gathering/get-together/party is taller than you? maybe you will get cheered by a ridiculous line that throws you into a giggle fit for weeks to come. here are two of my most favorite:
dude: "do you want to retire at 40?"
me: "um...why?"
dude: "if we had kids, they'd be in the NFL"  (I have no idea why my children looked like they would be football players. looking back, it actually sounds rather offensive now)

dude (height - 5'1): "wanna dance? you would ensure our children would be at least 5'8"   (I'm sorry...our children?)

9. heels are uncomfortable. reasons not to wear them: excessively long legs.

10. you can hide things from your short friends. especially helpful during the christmas season, clearly.

nutrition tip today comes from an email entitled "holiday eating tips":

If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge.  Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention.  They're like a beautiful pair of shoes.  If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.


2 comments:

Marci said...

Ok, I have the TV on in the background as I read this and when I finished, there was an info-mercial for show inserts that 'instantly' make you taller... it's for men OR women. The info-mercial announcer said, "It's been proven that being tall gets you more confidence, more attention, and more success." :)

I thought this was quite appropriate! I love your tallness and I love you!

Marci said...

show=shoe