casual

do you ever remember what you think are random things? my guess is, though, that if we remember them, they are not random - they shaped us somehow.

I have this memory of sitting on a hill at church camp in 7th grade. we had just played 'romans and christians' and discussed its implications in our own lives (heavy stuff for 7th graders), and started singing a camp song that I can't seem to get out of my head. I can't remember any of the lyrics except this, the chorus...I don't want to be, I don't want to be a casual Christian. I don't want to live, I don't want to live a lukewarm life. 'Cause I wanna light up the night with an everlasting light...I don't want to live a casual Christian life.

maybe there's a reason I can't get that out of my head. maybe my little 7th grade mind, with all of it's naivete' about the world, still knew that I didn't want to live a casual Christian life. that I wanted to be on fire, not lukewarm. maybe that was the cry of my heart and my prayer to my Lord. and maybe it still is...which is why it keeps playing on repeat in my heart.