Monday, February 6, 2012


today I was feeling pretty perky. and then out of nowhere, a big ol' fat change slapped me in the face.

I'll start with a confession: I became emotionally attached to a co-worker.

no, no, no, not like that. a friend. but a fabulous friend.

warning: if you don't want me to become emotionally unstable when you tell me you're leaving (not just our lovely little office, but the city and state, as well), try not to be so awesome. k?

the thing about change is, I've been trying to accept it and even, maybe, befriend it. but I realized today that I like change on my terms. I'll work on accepting you, change, if I get to choose you.

it doesn't seem fair that other people should get to make their own choices that don't revolve around me. sheesh. what are they thinking? helloooo?

ya know what's tough? when something really stellar happens for another person and it takes that person away from you. because then it means your tears are selfish.

the preacher who spoke at my amazing grandmother's funeral said it. she said it so well and so clear. so honest. so true.

our tears are for us, aren't they?

well, yes. yes they were. because my grandmother wasn't happy here anymore. she was so ill and confused and ready to go home. and that's where she was when I was here on earth crying. saying she was happier would be an understatement. so yes, those tears...they were for me.

and the same is true for these tears. this change is good for my dear friend. she'll be in the same city as the one she loves. she won't have to spend hours in the car every weekend. won't have to spend tons of money on gas. won't have to spend time apart from her future hubby.

but she won't be here. and thus, I am sad. because she isn't here to laugh with me when the work day seems to be going longer than necessary. when I'm having a frustrated moment, she won't be here to make me smile. when the final twilight movie comes out, she won't be here to wear the awesome edward shirt I got her and see the midnight showing.

but I swear I'm happy for her.

situations like these are why they have the word bittersweet.

but I'm starting to learn to be grateful for the memories and lessons learned from people, rather than mourn that things have changed.

so I will remember funny IMs, deep life discussions, mixed CDs, auburn football games, wine and nachos with a smile. and I will be thankful for who she is. a truly fabulous person.

how do you guys handle good-byes? mine typically involve a lot of tears, but I'm a sap like that.

health tip: did you know that hamburger color does not necessarily indicate that it is has been cooked properly? I sure didn't. but I just learned that 1 in 4 hamburgers that are NOT pink in the middle have NOT been cooked to the correct temperature (155 F).

and because this e-mail made me giggle, I thought I'd share...

because the building that houses the office of spiritual life has been "visited" by a skunk, the office will be closed until wednesday.


jenna said...

Oh dear friend, changes suck sometimes!
Well, if you need some good healing time, you are free to join me for some more episodes of Christy at my apt! That is a good coping activity for sure! :)
Love you!

ashley said...

I have been daydreaming about watching Christy since Sunday! Let's please do this again soon :)