Monday, October 24, 2011

(in)security and forgiveness

our apartment was broken into last week. I wish I could adequately describe the surreal feeling of realizing your stuff has been taken from your apartment. that where there was something, there is empty space. that someone, a complete stranger, and let's be honest, a complete creepy stranger, was in your space. where you live. where you call home. the place where you go and let out a sigh after a long day. your safe haven. that no longer feels safe. 

my emotions have ranged from disbelief and shock (first reaction? maybe michelle needed our TV for work today...), to fear, to extreme anger. the latter two now intermingle and just don't make for a very positive attitude on my part. working on that. 

I've been struggling with the Godly response to this. ya know, the old "what would Jesus do?"...would Jesus go knock on the door of the culprit and say, "hey...I think you forgot to take my DVD player? here you go!" a part of me thinks this - the whole turn the other cheek concept. but God also stands for truth and can't tolerate sin. so maybe He wouldn't do that...maybe he would stand up for justice. whatever He would do, I know this: He would forgive. 

as I got angrier and angrier on wednesday night after all the drama had ceased, I was humbled thinking about a friend's family who was just brutally murdered. murdered. someone took the lives of two members of her extended family. that is irreplaceable. no insurance can repay that. no amount of time spent can recover the lives of those precious people. how do people forgive that?? all that got taken from me were material possessions and homework. let's be real - in a month, this probably won't matter. but these people will experience Christmases and birthdays without their loved ones for years to come. whew. talk about perspective. 

sometimes I feel like Satan is winning. like there is just an overwhelming cascade of awful that keeps happening. people hurting other people. shootings. break-ins. murders. abuse. then I have to remember the rest of the story - the ending. Satan loses. and God redeems. 

thursday morning on the way to work, beautiful things by gungor came on my mixed cd. 

all around
hope is springing up from this old ground
out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

somehow, He can make beautiful things out of us - out of seemingly nowhere - out of seemingly nothing beautiful. 

thus concludes my ramblings for tonight. 

oh - ps. my thought tonight: "I wonder if they ever found that man that broke into antoine dodson's apartment? I wonder if he moved to my apartment complex..."  yep. makes ya wonder, huh? 

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