Thursday, November 14, 2013

thoughts on pain

have you been in a place where pain seemed to linger? or rather, caught you off guard at random moments throughout  the day? like suddenly, the feeling sweeps over you and you can't breathe.

I was "boogie boarding" on vacation one time as a kid, and a wave crashed down suddenly, smashing me down onto my board. I remember that feeling so vividly. the wind was knocked out of me and I couldn't breathe or comprehend anything. I couldn't remember what it felt like to feel normal. 

sometimes heartaches can feel like that. 

as I have walked through this season, I have thought of "what if's" and "if I hadn't" and regrets and wishes and wonderings. 

and tonight as I came home and had conversation with a few dear friends who are also walking through forms of heartache, I felt a strange peace and calm and joy. I felt the fruits of the Spirit. I felt comforted in knowing that I was not alone. that we all feel pain. that it's so very....human

I think there is something beautiful about sharing our battle scars. the things that have shaped us, taught us lessons, and made us relate-able. able to connect with one another. able to see God through the healing. because while He closes the wound, it's not quite the same. there's something different. something that's caused us be formed into who He wants us to be. 

I firmly believe that He can make all things work together for His purpose. I don't think everything happens for a reason, necessarily. I think that evil occurs and things happen that He wishes didn't. but in all things, I think there can be redemption. a story of some good. and that is why I will be thankful for painful seasons. 

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