I may not be the most organized, clean person, but I still don't like messes.
I've been praying since I moved that God would use me. that I would find a place where I could serve. that I could be a witness and a valuable member of God's kingdom. and yet, I haven't found a place quite yet.
or at least I didn't think I had.
I wanted this to fit into a nice, neat box. volunteering every Tuesday night at a homeless shelter, inner city, habitat, hospital, etc. -- surely that was the way to go. and while I'm not saying it's not, I haven't found that specific opportunity yet. rather, something else: life.
situations have surfaced around me that I've shied away from. a friend went MIA for awhile, and I heard he was in rehab. rehab??! what?! no way. he surfaced today and my first reaction was avoidance. I didn't know how to react. how awkward.
then I started thinking about the bravery it takes to admit that something is wrong in your life. to admit you have a problem and to take steps to fix it. to publicly admit that you need help and then COME BACK to face everyone who knows. WHOA. how courageous! how strong! how amazing! at this eye-opening realization, I almost wept. and wanted to welcome this person with a hug. and love. and acceptance. and happiness. I felt a little bit of what the father might have felt with the prodigal son. maybe just a hint.
isn't that a little messy?
another one of my friends from the past is believed to be gay and wants to get together (we haven't talked in what feels like forever). my initial reaction was to ignore. this is clearly not a situation I need to be in. this is messy! it will surely be awkward. I'll just ignore. who cares?
but then I thought about Jesus. and it gnawed at me. would Jesus ignore someone reaching out because of a sin? no way! Jesus would seek them out to hang out. come over to my place. let's be friends.
Jesus embraces messes. and a good thing, too, because I'm a mess! I'm so thankful God doesn't ignore me.
when life gets a little scary, and awkward, and...well...messy -- I have to turn to the Word for perspective. my instincts and the world may tell me to back away from messes, but Jesus always embraces. and as a mess myself, I am ever thankful.